The Doomed Carrots

So I have a question: Why does refusing a piece of cake make one anorexic? I must admit that the occasion is rare when I refuse much of anything (case in point my brother’s leftover turkey and mayonnaise sandwich that was left un-refrigerated for two days). However, I do draw the line at a gummy, frost-bitten ice-cream cake…

A little background information first. I currently work at an electronic company headquarters, where I pretend to do work while actually catching up on David Lebovitz. Pim, and the Food Whore. For the past three weeks, a myriad of holiday candy, cookies, and other assorted treats have been set out on the random office table in front of my cubicles, mostly from the vendors we buy from. Now, at first when these began appearing, I couldn’t help but grab a handful of Russel Stover chocolates or Stop ‘N Shop cookies, but after a few days, you begin to understand that chocolate should not make your mouth greasy or leaves a charming white, gooey streak across your tongue (a reaction from the chocolate not being tempered properly).

Anyway, my crazed coworkers immediately discovered after day 3 that I wasn’t taking anything from the growing pile. I’m not quite sure why, but at that moment I became the topic of office gossip and speculation. Perhaps it’s due to the fact that I’m the youngest person working for the company by a long shot or because I am rather on the small side. In any case, speculation grew that I was anorexic. Many “coincidentally” passed my cubicle during lunch (my four wall prison is conveniently located by the entrance/exist) and made some sort of snide remark about my propensity to eat a large fruit salad or my reappearing celery sticks. Needless to say, that the guy sitting next to me didn’t receive such comments about his salad, but then again he did have a giant cookie next to his salad bowl. So, I played along; I meekly smiled and before my lunch hour began, I thought of cute little remarks to make so the indirect accusation was not met with a only a toothy smile covered with stuck blackberry seeds.

And still the gossip ensued. PEOPLE! If YOU’RE WHISPERING, IT STILL MEANS I CAN HEAR YOU, ESPEICALLY WHEN YOU’RE STANDING RIGHT OUTSIDE MY CUBICLE!

But I clinched the deal when I made a fatal mistake yesterday. Every month the office throws a communal birthday party and always scraps enough money together to buy an icecream cake. Because I’m familiar with this tradition from my stint over the summer, I didn’t really become excited when 3:00 rolled around and screams of “Cake!” echoed through the office, not to mention the fact that I really wasn’t hungry (a large turkey sandwich, yogurt, apple, clementine, and chocolate kiss really does fill you up) . I did feel like chewing on something though, and handily pulled out my leftover bag of carrots from lunch. And so I started happily eating away whilst everyone downed a piece of cake, only to complain about its aftereffects later.

So naturally, when everyone returned to their cubicles and passed by mine, they each asked if I had had a piece of cake. Expecting the routine, I replied “Nay, I’m actually not a big sweet person.” So says the girl that only a few hours later ate three butter cookies, a mini fruit tart, and several spoonfuls of Nutella, but I really was happy with my carrots. Well, that sealed it. People leaned in close and asked “Honey, are you ok?” or “You really should eat more besides those carrots for lunch”.

Really, I don’t see what’s so wrong about eating carrots for an afternoon snack. But now my title has been sealed and reluctantly I am known as “The Really Tiny Girl that Doesn’t Eat”. Well, I guess it’s better than the guy two cubicles down from me “The Guy that Smells like Old Beans”, whatever that means.

Holiday Cookie Baking

I love December, that is despite the cold and snow. The cold does have its benefits though, as the eternal image of families and friends surrounding a fireplace surmounts a certain warmness, even without the makeshift fireplace. And of course, the Christmas (or should I say holiday) cookies. Though for some time I have insisted that Hanukah does not hold a candle (purposeful pun) to the dessert offerings of Christmas (jelly-filled donuts being the only possible contender), I have for years held off on making holiday cookies. However, this is my first year at college and I thought some holiday spirit needed to be iced upon my Winter holiday to compete with my friends’ excursions to Paris, Rome, and London (Hamilton College has their fair share of wealthy travelers).

I set out to conduct primary research on holiday cookies. I found mountains of ginger bread, sugar, and booze soaked cookies, that typified the holiday spirited a little too much for my taste. Autumnal spices like cinnamon and nutmeg were already too long overused and tacky sweet butter cookies (1 cup of sugar to 1 cup of flour) overloaded with bright, artificial icing tainted my holiday mood and weakened my stomach.

What I really wanted were uniquely presented cookies, reminiscent of holidays past, without the overbearing memory of leftover fruit cake and boring holiday tastes. I finally decided on three cookies that had touches of holiday nostalgia with new flavorings and touches. In place of a butter cookie with icing, I opted for chocolate and almond dipped sandwich cookies, made with a basic butter dough, but loaded with rich toasted nuttiness. Instead of a heavily laden, overbearingly dense fruit cake, I chose hazelnut linzer cookies with blackberry jam. And finally to substitute the heavy rum balls that leave the crowd groggy within a few bites. Well, alcohol is of course necessary for the holidays and so too is chocolate. A rum soaked chocolate cookie fit the bill quite nicely.

The only problem now is the approaching snow storm scheduled to drop ten inches of snow. Well, if nothing else my love and the heat from the oven will keep me warm!